Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The unpaid job

Today, 6 years ago, I had a huge belly, a kid kicking inside (named Tarzan at the time) some funky contractions, and I was ready to defend my degree that I had been working on for 4.5 years. I did great, I am not sure if the belly imposed, but I got over that, I ascended to a new status in life, I was treated with a different degree of respect by some, and I was ready to start my life as a mom. And I did that, a month later, and the following years. And now, that I am trying to put to use all the knowledge and experience gained during those years, nothing happens. I have too many degrees, or too long of a gap, or maybe lack of experience in some areas, or I am just shooting for the wrong positions. I think is a combination of all those, and although it may sound like I should feel disappointed, for some reason, I don't. There are so many other things that I want to do, that it makes me question if I choose the right career path from the beginning, or if I should have followed my instincts, and pursued a more creative career. I guess I can create, as a hobbyist, but at the same time, to live a more comfortable life, and to give my son all the things that he will be needing in the future, I need to make money. But for now, I will continue with my unpaid job of being a mom, and with my multiple hobbies and enjoying life as I continue having it, while I support my family the way I've been doing until now. And the day that job comes into my life, then, I will support my family in a different way, and fulfill the gap that is pushing me now into looking for a paying job. My hobbies: photography, playing guitar, sewing, reading, educating, playing, socializing, I really can't complain.

  Hoy hace 6 años, tenia una barrigota, un niño dentro pegandome patadas (llamado Tarzan en su día) algunas contracciones, y estaba a punto de defender mi trabajo en el que habia estado ocupando los ultimos 4.5 años. Lo hice muy bien, no sé si la barrigota impuso, pero superé aquello, ascendí a otro estatus en mi vida, algunos me trataban con otro nivel de respeto, y estaba lista para comenzar mi vida como mama. Y asi lo hice, un mes despues, y los años que siguieron. Y ahora, que estoy intentando poner en uso el conocimiento y la experiencia ganada durante esos años, no pasa nada. Tengo demasiados títulos, o demasiado tiempo sin hacer nada, o quizás la falta de experiencia en algunas áreas, o estoy pidiendo las posiciones equivocadas. Creo que es una combinación de todas, y aunque parezca que deba sentirme defraudada, por alguna razón, no me siento. Hay tantas otras cosas que quiero hacer, a veces me pregunto si elegí la carrera adecuada, o si debería haber seguido mis instintos y haber hecho algo más creativo. Supongo que aún así puedo crear, como hobby, pero al mismo tiempo, para vivir una vida más cómoda, y para poder darle a mi hijo todo lo que necesite en un futuro, necesito tener un sueldo. Pero por ahora, continuaré con mi trabajo sin sueldo de ser mama y con mis muchos hobbis y disfrutando de la vida mientras la tengo, mientras mantengo a mi familia como lo he vendio hacienda hasta ahora. Y el día que un trabajo llegue a mi vida, entonces, mantendré a mi familia de otra manera, y rellenare esa necesidad que ahora me empuja a buscar un trabajo con sueldo. Mis hobbys: la fotografía, tocar a la guitarra, coser, leer, educar, jugar, socializar, la verdad, no me puedo quejar.


Reflejo

4 comments:

Gisele Schoene said...

I also have been thinking about this lately, it is interesting. One more think we will need to talk over Thanksgiving... I am so glad you are coming!

Anonymous said...

great photograph. I guess the right job while come in time. you know your own needs. You seem to be creative and a very attentive mom to a great little boy and through your blog you are showing us all how much you fully live life. Everything will fall into place.

Eugeac said...

Que tiene de malo la vida que llevas ahora, no cambies la excelente madre que eres por un sueldo, no todo en la vida es dinero.

Besotes

amisha said...

carmen, i really relate to a lot of what you are saying here. and i am trying very hard to have the attitude that you have-- to be content in what i am doing right now, and to have trust and faith in the idea that the right thing will come into my life at the right time, that will hopefully make the last few years make a little more sense! xox